


Stuck In My Head With Nothing Left

by saltyfandombrat



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Carrie Wilson Needs A Hug, Carrie Wilson Redemption, Carrie Wilson-centric, Carrie has a lot of feelings, Gen, Good Parent Bobby | Trevor Wilson, Set directly after Bright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:53:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29122956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltyfandombrat/pseuds/saltyfandombrat
Summary: And she realized it. That was the hardest part of all of this. She still considered Julie a friend when she just...Wasn’t anymore.
Relationships: Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina & Carrie Wilson, Kayla & Carrie Wilson, Nick & Carrie Wilson
Kudos: 24





	Stuck In My Head With Nothing Left

Carrie felt like she was walking on air as she strutted away from the middle of the gym, strips of pink hair falling in her face. She had been so proud of Wow and so excited to finally get to perform it in front of everyone, and they had loved it. Why wouldn't they? They had worked hard on it and it was good. She was out of breath and exhausted as she stopped by the water fountain, trying to catch her breath and cool down, reveling in the feeling she always got when she had finished performing. She loved music, she felt it in her soul, like it was a part of her that would just always be there. As she pushed her hair back away from her face, a noise began hitting her ears, though. 

For a moment, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. The unmistakable sound of a piano followed by Julie's voice, but it couldn't be that. Her ears had to be playing tricks on her. For a whole year, nothing could get Julie to sing. Not the Molinas, not Flynn, not Carrie, not even the threat of being kicked from the music program. Yet her voice couldn't be mistaken for anyone else's, she would know the sound of her best-her ex best friend's voice anywhere. It was so distinct and even though she didn't want to, she got chills down her spine which she would deny every day until she died. The music couldn't bring her peace anymore, not when it was connected to Julie who was connected to nearly every struggle she felt now. 

Emotion filled her to the point where she didn’t know what she was feeling anymore, the high from her performance had been completely overshadowed in a way that it never had been before, and it was almost like her feet moved without her consent as she walked back into the gym with Kayla trailing after her. She was saying something, but the words never reached Carrie’s ears, the only sound getting in was the song that was playing. Her eyes scanned the stage and she couldn’t believe what she was seeing, she had never expected to see Julie back on the stage, certainly not like this. Every ounce of fear and reluctance Julie had about singing before seemed to be completely gone now and then it got stranger.

Carrie flinched when three boys suddenly appeared on stage next to her ex best friend and beside her, Kayla made a noise that sounded eerily similar to admiration. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing and she began moving again, pushing her way through the crowd of people that had formed at the stage now, trying to get a closer look. Kayla reached the front before she did, watching curiously as one of the boy’s began singing. She didn’t understand it. Julie had asserted nothing could bring her out of the spot she had been in just days before and yet she was singing on stage like she hadn’t missed a beat. And with boys she had never even seen before? She didn’t even know the girl she was staring at. 

As one of the boys winked at her, she felt a strange anger welling in her chest. These random boys had managed to reach through to Julie when nobody else could and now they were so smug about it. But she realized the wink wasn’t too her, it was directed towards Kayla who was smiling when she looked over at her. The same smile she had when they were performing a song of their own. And it was loud. It was so loud. People were cheering and hollering in a way that was even louder than it had been during Wow, and suddenly, Carrie couldn’t breathe anymore. Everyone felt too close to her and her clothes felt too tight for her body, the room seemed like it was spinning around her and the stage lights felt too bright in her eyes even though they weren’t even on her. They weren’t even on her.

Then they were gone. Murmurs filled the room around her and her own eyes widened in confusion, she thought maybe this was all a terrible dream and that she would wake up any minute. But she didn’t didn’t wake up. Instead, Kayla was piping up with a helpful question about holograms and Julie was quick to agree with her. Maybe a bit too quick, but she didn’t have time to think about that. All she could think about was that she still couldn’t get air into her lungs, but anger burned through her veins now, welling up in her chest as she glared over at Kayla. At one of the people who were supposed to still be on her side of things, and how could she be so oblivious to how badly Carrie was hurting? 

“Carrie, wait!” The sounds of Kayla’s shoes clicked along the gym floor as she followed after her. Her words were meant to be encouraging, she was sure, as though nothing was wrong, as if they had just gotten off stage from one of their own performances. She was seemingly oblivious to everything Carrie was going through in that moment and that simply made the feeling inside of her chest worse. At those words, she whipped around so quickly that she worried Kayla might run face-first into her, but she luckily caught herself before she closed the gap between them. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her nose scrunched in the deepest glare she could manage, trying to convey her annoyance without a word. 

“What was that?” Carrie demanded from her “friend” and continued before she could answer, her tone mocking. “Were those holograms?” She ignored the apology she was given, she would’ve ignored anything at that point, she couldn’t help it. Everything inside her felt like it was snapping at once, every feeling she had buried towards Julie rising back to the surface. The words flowed freely from her as she turned away, needing to be as far away from the gym as she could get herself. “What even is that? What even is that? What was that?” She didn’t want an answer, no answer would be enough to calm her down at that point, none from Kayla anyway. She wanted one from Julie, but she refused to go to her.

Along the way, Nick had joined by her side, immediately sensing something was wrong and asking her about it. She tried not to snap at him, he meant well and she knew he did, but she just wanted him to shut up. Enough was on her mind without his voice rattling through her head too. When they were walking towards Julie, he had tried to pull her back down the hallway, urging her away from the other girl. But Nick was too soft, too sweet, he wasn’t stubborn enough to be able to stop her from standing in front of Julie’s path. He had pushed ahead of her, trying to defuse the situation before it had even begun, telling her how good of a job she had done and that was definitely the wrong move. 

“It was way better than when you cried and ran out,” And yeah, that was a low blow, even for Carrie. But there was so much anger and regret, and confusion, coursing through her veins. Being cruel was something she had gotten very used to ever since her falling out with Julie because being mean was easier than being sad. If she was just sad, she would sit around the house forever and nothing would ever have gotten done. She would have been just like Julie. But she pushed those feelings aside and let spite take her over, it felt like it tore her apart inside, but at least things got done. At least she had things to show for it instead of just tears, but none of that mattered, apparently. None of what she gave up mattered. 

None of it mattered because Julie had just outshined her anyway. Honestly, she probably would have walked away, but then Julie spoke again. She had actually stood up for herself, something she had never done. It took her off guard and it was actually a solid comeback, for her anyway, and it made her even more upset. If that was even possible at that point, but it felt like it was. And Carrie wanted to demand answers, she wanted to just grab her by the shoulders and ask who she even was because she definitely did  _ not  _ know the girl standing in front of her now. Instead, she gave one final snarky remark and turned her back on her, storming off before another word could be uttered between the three of them. 

“Hey, that was kind of cold,” Nick’s words were soft-spoken, but he may as well have been yelling with how it hit Carrie’s ears. He had never talked to her like that before. What was going on with everyone that day? She was disappointed and not even surprised, yet another person who seemed to be on every side but hers now. Honestly, she could have ignored him until he kept speaking. “You two used to be friends,” That was enough to have her turning towards him completely, sticking a hand in between them to keep him away from her. He looked surprised, a bit hurt, like a kicked puppy and that only made her feel worse if she was being honest with herself. Why did everyone get to be hurt except for her? 

“I’ve earned my chair, Nick! Julie lost hers after she didn’t sing a note for a year,” Carrie’s voice sounded close to hysterics as she did everything she could to hold onto her composure. It was true, though. It felt so unfair that none of what she had worked for mattered when apparently, Julie could just sing whenever she felt like it. Screw the rules, right? Why should she have to follow them? “Then suddenly, she drops in unannounced to upstage me with her little hologram act? I worked hard on that routine,” It felt like Julie was spitting in her face, telling her that it meant nothing. “Julie’s no friend,” And she realized it. That was the hardest part of all of this. She still considered Julie a friend when she just...Wasn’t anymore. 

Carrie was biting back tears as she stormed down the hallway, walking away from Nick, disappearing down the hallway towards the bathroom before he could follow her. Being around him was only making her more upset, why couldn’t he just get it? Why couldn’t any of them seem to understand how hard things were for her now as well? She stepped inside the empty room and locked the door tightly behind herself, not wanting anybody to see her like this. She was a mess. Shakily unlocking her phone, she clicked on the first contact that popped up, the last person who had called. Simply labeled, ‘dad’ with a little crown emoji next to his name. She nearly clicked on it before she stopped herself. 

Carrie hesitated. Her dad hated driving, he hated going anywhere he didn't have to and she worried for a moment. He didn't deserve to have to do that just because she was having a hard time. For a moment, she contemplated putting her phone away and just trying to deal with it, but she knew him and he would be more upset if she didn't tell him that something was wrong. She hit dial before she had a chance to change her mind and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself before he answered. After all, she didn't want to sound like too much of a mess, even if she felt it. Even if it was the one person who would never judge her. She hated sounding as bad as she felt. 

"Carrie? What's the matter? Are you okay?" The questions immediately hit her ears once he picked up, worry filling his voice. It was his default setting when she did something out of the ordinary. And she never called him during the day like this. She never interrupted his workout time unless she absolutely had to. Immediately, she worried she had made the wrong choice by calling, but it was way too late to turn back now. If she just hung up, he really would lose it. She remembered back to a time when she had disappeared out on the streets of Hollywood. She had been fine, but he had seemed on the verge of melting down and made her promise to never scare him like that again. 

"I'm fine, everything's fine. Just. Can you come pick me up?" Carrie assured him quickly, not wanting to give him too much time to worry over what was going on. When really, nothing was going on. She felt silly for being as affected by everything as she was, she couldn't even really explain why she was so upset. But she couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to just sit down and cry. She couldn't do that here. Not when she could have anyone find her, she refused to let anyone outside of Trevor see her like that. It was still hard to be vulnerable in front of him, but he was family and he had always taught her that family was forever. What hurt even more was Julie was family not too long ago.

"Why? Is everything okay? I mean, do you need-" There was the sound of movement and Carrie could tell he was already walking through the house, probably towards the door. She gave a shaky smile at that even though he couldn't see it. But she felt lucky to have him. They really understood one another, she thought. Which was why she could read him like a book, she could practically see the expression on his face as he slipped out the front door, letting it slam behind himself without care. She knew exactly his level of fear in that moment and it hurt her knowing that it was because of her, so she spoke up and stopped him before he could get too lost in his head. 

"Please?" Carrie interrupted him before his mind could go to too many places. She really didn't want him to worry, she just wanted him to be there. It would work, she thought, it always worked. There weren't many times he had said no to her and all of them had been for good reasons, even if she didn't see it at the time. It wasn't like she couldn't afford to miss the day anyway, she was at school most of the time. And there was a sincerity in her voice that Trevor recognized as his own, one that took him back to the long nights of the fall and winter of 1995. He hated hearing that in his daughter, he took a deep breath. As long as he knew she was okay, that was all he needed for the time being.

"Okay, baby, but we're talking about this when we get home," Trevor's tone was softer now, still worried, but overtaken mostly by understanding. He had always done his best not to push every topic, but he could sense something was really wrong with the situation. She promised him they would and they exchanged their usual I love yous. Pink nails made a soft clicking noise as she hit the end call button and headed towards the front office to wait for him. He wouldn't be too long, she told herself, he never was. As she walked along the hallways, still trying to maintain her usual stance of unwavering confidence, she just hoped nobody could see how badly she was trembling. 


End file.
